would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
