I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
