so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
