the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
