I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
