sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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