Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
