The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
