I'm jealous of your bromance
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
