At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
