Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize