Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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