You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
