You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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