the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Acid is not a monday night drug
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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