I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
