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• (443): View more from Maryland

  told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?

  (410): View more from Maryland

  i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  two words: eviction party

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.

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• (209): View more from California

  is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...

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• (818): View more from California

  The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.

  (1248): View more from

  That'll put some boobs in that bra.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour

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• (845): View more from New York

  My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...

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• (801): View more from Utah

  You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?

  (650): View more from California

  I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?

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• (+91): View more from India

  I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?

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• (406): View more from Montana

  I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.

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