if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
