You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
