dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
