The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
