I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
