i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
