I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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