I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Randomize
