a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Are we still banned from the library?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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