She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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