youre lurking in front of me
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
