we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
