Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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