I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
