Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
