I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
