no, he came in my armpit
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Randomize
