We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Less talking, more tequila
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
