Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
