on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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