No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
