at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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