I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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