i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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