He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Randomize
