It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
