So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
