she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
