You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize