I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
