so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
