there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize