the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
