Define "chronic" masturbator.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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