I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
