When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Randomize
