It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
