when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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