What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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